It’s less than two weeks to Christmas, and I haven’t even started my shopping. I’ve been very busy working, attending events, and making sure I can end the year well enough to get a real fresh start next year.
But one recent event—a small moment amongst my busy schedule—transformed me.
I was introduced to a man I’d never met nor seen before; he took off his glasses and looked me straight in the eyes and held my gaze. He told me he liked to look into people’s eyes when he first met them in order to help him remember their name. So he held my gaze for about a minute while saying my name.
My first thought was how rare it is that we really look into each other’s eyes, not focusing on the whole face or whole person, nor what’s around them, but into them. Their. Eyes. You know, windows to the soul, and all that.
After about a minute, he told me I had beautiful eyes. And rather than simply say thank you, I said, “They are my best feature,” which I said because my eyes are a lovely shade of green and they are never too fat, too frizzy, or too awkward looking, the way I sometimes feel the rest of me appears.
“Don’t say that,” he said. “You are perfect.”
“Perfectly imperfect,” I replied.
“Perfect,” he responded.
This wasn’t a flirtatious moment. It was a philosophical moment. And I suddenly felt what a burden all my insecurities might be to other people. The way I might force people into boosting me up, which may or may not drag them down.
Instead of a moment of shared joy, I’d asked and required forgiveness by apologizing for my own perceived insecurities. And I realized that the insecurities we carry are an unnecessary weight for ourselves and others. Insecurities are a burden, period.
The gift, I think, is to let our insecurities go and to be joyful with who we simply are, so that we lighten the load of everyone and just share the pleasure of each other’s perfect presence. And look into each other’s eyes and see and be seen. Let each other know that we are already perfect. Perfectly wonderful as is.
Now, imagine how different your holiday would be if you weren’t worried about disappointing people—not baking enough or not getting the right gift… Imagine if you could surrender to enjoying the holidays knowing, deep in your soul, that everything and everyone is already perfect, including you.
That sounds like the best gift of all. This year, I’m going to give it to everyone. Including me.
(Plus, it comes with free shipping 😉 )
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